Rewarding Myself - Somewhere Between Self-Discipline and Spritzes

How to comfy yourself – without going overboard

When I feel stressed in everyday life, I always feel the need to reward myself. That could be a glass of wine in the evening – which quickly becomes a habit – or a sweet treat. Neither is good for my waistline. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the combination of red wine and chocolates leads to a guaranteed weight gain of about half a kilo in one to two weeks. I discovered this unpleasant fact during the stressful season of grading and report writing before Christmas – through my own personal experiment.

My favorite combi.

Rewarding yourself – the Indian version

Here in India, chocolate isn’t as easy to come by. It melts quickly in the heat and becomes unappetizing. And in the fridge, it gets too hard – losing that smooth, melt-in-the-mouth feeling. As a result, our chocolate consumption has gone down significantly compared to when we lived in Germany.

The cool glass of white wine, however, remains tempting – especially in the Indian climate. And what could be better than enjoying the sunset with a chilled drink above the heat of the bustling city? Without the drink, the sunset just doesn’t feel the same.

An unpleasant mirror

Then, the other day, my son told me I looked like the alcoholic woman in The White Lotus. That’s when I decided to give up alcohol. In my defense, I was suffering from terrible jetlag and looked horribly puffy when I emerged from the bedroom around noon. Still, that comment shook me – and made me feel like I had to do something.

These are the steps I want to take:

1. More alcohol-free days

2. Daily movement

3. One colorful, fresh meal every day

   
   

That would certainly lead to a healthier lifestyle. But the question remains: How do I compensate?

So I asked ChatGPT

I talked to ChatGPT about it. First, it reassured me that the desire to reward oneself after stress is completely normal. That immediately made me feel better – I no longer felt like I had a deep psychological issue.But the AI’s suggestions for healthy rewards were... well... let’s just say, not very tempting.

Here’s what it suggested:

Find healthier alternatives.Instead of impulsively reaching for chocolate or wine, try long-term rewarding activities:

1. Movement: A walk, yoga, or workout releases endorphins and reduces stress.

2. Creative activities: Painting, music, writing, or cooking can be fulfilling.

3. Social reward: Talk to a friend or family member, plan a meet-up, or send a nice message.

4. Conscious relaxation: Try meditation, a hot shower, or deep breathing.

That’s when you realize it’s just an AI – not your best friend.A real friend would know that after a long school day, I’m so wiped out that I can’t bring myself to do anything other than pour a drink and stare into the distance from my rooftop. No way I’m doing yoga or meditating. I just want to consume – delicious food, a massage, or yes, that drink.

The consumption trap

But this kind of consumption is tricky – it usually hits your wallet hard. So I’m trying not to overdo it with the massages. And as for food and drink – well, we already covered their not-so-great side effects.

So here I am, stuck in a dilemma that seems to have no solution.

Either I ignore my looks and my budget – or I practice restraint. Unfortunately, restraint is not very rewarding. And that's exactly why it's so unappealing.

The middle path

Maybe the solution is to find a natural balance. Not always having that glass of wine, and only the occasional massage. After all, things you don’t have every day tend to bring more joy than the routine ones. A bit like the middle way in Buddhism: avoiding extremes. Neither full-on denial nor indulgence.

Maybe I could fully enjoy my glass of wine one day – and then go completely ascetic the next. That way, I’m not being extreme in either direction.

Or... is that cheating?